God's Total Quality Management Questionnaire?
God would like to thank you for your belief and patronage. In order to
better serve your needs, He asks that you take a few moments to answer the
following questions.
Please keep in mind that your responses will be kept completely
confidential, and that you need not disclose your name or address unless
you prefer a direct response to comments or suggestions.
1. How did you find out about your Deity?
___ Newspaper
___ Bible
___ Torah
___ Book of Mormon
___ Koran
___ Divine inspiration
___ Dead Sea Scrolls
___ My mama done tol’ me
___ Near-death experience
___ Near-life experience
___ National Public Radio
___ Tabloid
___ Burning shrubbery
___ Other (specify): _____________
2. Which model Deity did you acquire?
___ Yahweh
___ Father, Son & Holy Ghost [Trinity Pak]
___ Jehovah
___ Jesus
___ Krishna
___ Zeus and entourage [Olympus Pak]
___ Odin and entourage [Valhalla Pak]
___ Allah
___ Satan
And what about the rest of the questions? You know the question that takes up the next 6 pages, # 3 What religion do you worship under?_____. # 4 What is your preferred final resting place? 1. Heaven 2. Hell 3. Purgatory 4. Limbo 5. Non-existence 6. Lake of Fire 7. Gehenna 8 Sheol 9. Hades 10. Reincarnation